Exclamation Points
As the new year begins, I an only imagine what sort of developments are in store for me. Yes, I did mention that I shall be searching for Utopia this year, and I will find it, even if it kills me. is off to a great start? As good as any I guess. It was loud, but I’ve been doing loud for so long that it has become the norm.
It’s too early to tell if this year will bring forth the type of change I know I need, but I’ll be turning 29 soon, which means this time next year I will be 30. Expiration date cancelled or not, this is turning point that I plan to take full advantage of. By the time the year is over, so will a lot of things be. It’s just how it works I guess. 365 good days. It’s not as hard as some people may think.
The Last Day of 2010. I spent the final day of the year mostly in a bus. On one hand, it gave me the time I needed for some aggressive self examination. On another, it was kinda boring. Still, the opportunity to be alone with my thoughts was something I needed, sorta. People say I think too much. I think I don’t think nearly enough.
The final night of the year I spent with the Girl Who Saved my Life. There were also appearances from a former roomate who dated a stripper, that girl involved in that bathroom incident, and a Japanese dude that grabbed my junk for no reason. Going a little back to how I spent Christmas, with road trips, and alcohol and people from my past and present, I have to say, I’ve had worse holidays.
And as interesting as all that was to the casual observer, I’m hoping that next year’s ennd would be slightly different. I want something more quiet. More intimate. Something that’s mine. Like most things I’m ging to have to work for it.
Kicking off 2011. When you openly decare that a particular year in your life is supposed to be different, then logic dictates that one starts it in a different manner. However, my desire for a much more quiet year was trumped by certain people in my life who needed to a break their own. So when the Big Man and The Gadgeteer both going through some shit that made them want to have an amazing first day of the year, well, I had to know my role and play my part.
So there were drinks with the boys and a few of the girls at the Critic’s that led to a rather risky drive to Tagaytay. At 2 in the morning, the Gadgeteer and I stared across that cliff we looked towards a few months ago, before the movie, and we both could only mouth the words “it’s going to be an awesome year”. We’re just going to have to see about that.
The second day of the year, the girlfriend sorta disappeared, or at least from my point of view, so again, I went out. To Baguio. To settle things.
Thank you for the music. Heading off to the far North with the Gadgeteer, who was feeling giddy due to his latest relationship with one of The Part Timers, I was determined to do my part and go back South to deal with the rest of my life. What I didn’t expect that the entire time I was going to be going to deal with more things than I expected.
It was kinda like work, but it was satisfying. Spending the week going through such a very stressful an challenging ordeal and being part of such a pivotal moment in the life of one of the most important people from my younger years was fulfilling. If this was going to be the last time we get to spend together as a cohesive unit, then I could not imagine anything more fitting.
Like with the lives of most of the people around me, theirs have advance to a point where any point of intersection requires the kind of effort and dedication that I may not have in my advanced age. Everyone moves on, as they are fond of saying. But, we will always have the outrageously chilly two days in Baguio, accomplishing the impossible with a smile.
I wish them all well. Not just the newlyweds, but everyone else. Like the marriage that’s on the brink of destruction, I hope that one works out with minimal damage on everyone. The Gadgeteer, his new girlfriend, and the stall on his life. I hope it’s the first step towards getting back on some forward movement. Lorna, who seems to be having an amazing time these days, to go and achieve everything we all know she’s capable of achieving, and continue rocking along the way.
Me, well, the wedding perhaps cost me my job/s, and somehow took a lot out of my health and relationship. So, I’m going to go deal with all of that. And not spend so much time in buses for a bit.
29 and not quite fine. My birthday was a little more low key, which was something I actually wanted, especially after the hectic holidays and the wedding. Just staying in with the girlfriend, setting all worries aside on for another calendar day was a great way of celebrating the beginning of my final year as a twentysomething.
The morning after that I had travel with the boys for the christening of the Godfather of Porn’s first born. It was… pleasant. There was something different though. I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s the old age or the different station in life, but certain things were kinda off. I blame the street, or our distance from the street. Maybe it’s just the corporate world choking the very soul from my once beautiful friend. Either way, I guess we deal with changes our own way.
The night that followed made up for the morning, as the Big Man, Mr. Guerrero and I made our way to that strip club where the Big Man and I had one of our famous talks. However, we didn’t realy stay long, cause either we’ve changes or the place became sucky or it was a combination of both. It says something about you and your group when you wallk into a place and people assume that you’re cops. I mean, really. Us. Cops. Fuck.
So we moved to a different place, sang and drank all night. And now I’m 29.
Assessing the Situation. One final year before I’m 30, and I’ve got a lot of work to do in order to have myself a great year. Things are going alright for right now. Nine good days down, 356 to go. They say it can’t be done, that Utopia does not exist. I’ll prove those people wrong, or, as always, die trying.
“I’m nothing special, in fact I’m a bit of a bore
If I tell a joke, you’ve probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
‘Cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I’m so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud
So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me” – Abba, “Thank you for the music”
